It has dragged on between posts a bit... and this is just a quick note before heading off to school for the day. It's getting close to the end which means everybody has a bit more to do, especially the darling kids that now want to make up for 10 months slacking in one week! Also starting this week is the renovation of all the bathrooms in my building - it has been years since all the pipes were done, so it is time to rip everything out and put in new ones. This means no shower or toilet for 6 weeks... thankfully (oh so, thankfully) I have a friend who lives less then 5 minutes from me who is overseas for another 3 weeks and has very kindly let me stay here - THANK YOU!!
And now something that I was sent recently... thought I could use it next year to explain political ideologies/economic models:
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
Cheers!
rich.
Monday, 28 May 2007
Thursday, 17 May 2007
ruh
The last post was more for the readers down under I suppose, the rest of us not being able to buy OK Australia. So in the interests of fairness... well, no, not really, just because I know the guys:
I went to the Release Party for the début cd for the band Ruh, check out their website and myspace. They rock even more live, and are going to play with Bo Kaspers Orkester over summer (and, rumour has it, The Ark - of Eurovision 2007 song contest fame, 18th is still better than Australia if that is any consolation! ummm... hold on a sec... Australia's not in that one, 'cos I have no doubt Slim Dusty could win that one too if Oz was ever let in, even from the grave. Pub with no beer - classic.)... get on the Ruh bandwagon early! And buy their album - now!
And just to let you all know I am (in)officially 22% rich(er)... well, supposedly apartment prices in inner Stockholm have gone up by that much this year already. This of course means that my apartment would now be 22% over my limit... glad I bought it when I did!
hungry,
rich.
I went to the Release Party for the début cd for the band Ruh, check out their website and myspace. They rock even more live, and are going to play with Bo Kaspers Orkester over summer (and, rumour has it, The Ark - of Eurovision 2007 song contest fame, 18th is still better than Australia if that is any consolation! ummm... hold on a sec... Australia's not in that one, 'cos I have no doubt Slim Dusty could win that one too if Oz was ever let in, even from the grave. Pub with no beer - classic.)... get on the Ruh bandwagon early! And buy their album - now!
And just to let you all know I am (in)officially 22% rich(er)... well, supposedly apartment prices in inner Stockholm have gone up by that much this year already. This of course means that my apartment would now be 22% over my limit... glad I bought it when I did!
hungry,
rich.
Tuesday, 15 May 2007
Wedding photos...
As I mentioned, the photos from the wedding I was at in Oz were going to be published in OK Magazine - this is the best pic I can find on the website. Guess they want you to buy the real thing!
Saturday, 12 May 2007
wedding, family, friends...
Almost a week since I returned, which must mean that any desire I have to sleep in the middle of the day is now due to laziness and not jetlag. The title of this post aptly describes my week and a half in Melbourne. I arrived at stupid o'clock on a Tuesday morning and was greeted by the beginnings of a beautiful sunny day - the sun was definitely needed after about 40 hours travel (Sofia-Amsterdam-Stockholm-London-Hong Kong-Melbourne). Breakfast with mum and sis was a great start to 11 days, most of which seemed to revolve around meeting people and eating/drinking - tough really. Shame we are not all rich (wallet, not name!) and can lead this life all the time - although, I'm sure I would miss all the brats from Beverly Hills High. Arriving on the Tuesday morning was very important with regard to the wedding plans (the reason for the timing of the trip), as Tuesday night was the buck's night (buck's or bucks'? his night or everyone's night? ahhh... the dilemmas we face). I had (optimistically as it turns out) thought I would manage a siesta after lunch before the festivities began... hmmm... well, not quite, had to try on the suit (I was a groomsman), find shoes and a belt, and help out with last minute stuff. And see the bride! Brooke and Jared (the couple!) are two old swimming buddies who (finally!) tied the knot with many old friends in attendance - many with quite a few air miles under their belts to get there. The bridal party (is that bridesmaids and groomsmen? That's what I mean, anyway!) had travelled from: Italy, Texas, Stockholm, Sydney, Bairnsdale and the suburbs of Melbourne, whilst the rest of the guests covered all the states and territories of Australia as well as parts of Asia... quite the logistical exercise.
I could go on forever (and quite often do, I know) but will cut it shorter by saying that the buck's night went well, the cooked breakfast the next day at Torch on Swan St in the sun was delicious. The reason for the buck's on a Tuesday was that the next day was ANZAC Day, and hence a public holiday. Many of those connected to the wedding went to the "traditional" Aussie Rules footy game at the "G", I had lunch with my first swimming club - Powerpoints. Was a great afternoon, Katherine had done a great job of getting in touch with a bunch of old swimmers (we all swam together about 10 years ago) - it was very strange seeing many of them after 10 years, we have all grown up and are doing the most amazing array of different things: medical research, law, development work, teaching (!), real estate... Was great that it timed so well for my visit (Thanks Kath!).
There were other days like that, catching up with people I hadn't seen for between 6 months and 3 years... always a shame it is so short, but better than nothing. It is strange though, with old friends the time apart seems to disappear in an instant, it can feel like 2 weeks (just that we have managed to fit an extraordinary amount of stuff into those 2 weeks). I notice it most when I meet kids (cousins, or friends') - they change much faster and grow so much. Although I do try very hard to avoid saying, "My, how you've grown!" as I do want to try to still seem young (30 this year!). I managed relatively well to stay relaxed and enjoy it all without getting stressed about the lack of time - not a whole lot of sleep the first week!
The wedding was a fantastic day, everyone looked fantastic (for those in Aus the photos will be in OK! Magazine next week (14th May, I think) - just checked the website and they still have this week's one). A few drops of rain after the ceremony were all we got, until later that evening as we headed from the reception centre to the after-party. Yep, trust swimmers to organise an after-party to their own wedding!! It was great! A very long day, but everyone was happy.
The rest of my days were spent, much like the first few, drinking coffee and catching up with friends - there is never enough time to do everything I want to do - really will have to try to make the next trip a bit longer. Having said that... it will no doubt end up the same.
I've had a week back at school which thankfully coincided with the schools project weeks (twice a year for 2 weeks, December and May). This time I don't have a project, and there are no normal lessons, so I get time to catch up on all my marking and stuff that was covering my desk. I had my big project in December which kept my extremely busy then - so this is my pay-off!
Time to go and do something with the day, now that I have done my knee exercises, updated the blog, folded half the washing... all that domestic stuff... maybe time for a caffè...
latte,
rich.
I could go on forever (and quite often do, I know) but will cut it shorter by saying that the buck's night went well, the cooked breakfast the next day at Torch on Swan St in the sun was delicious. The reason for the buck's on a Tuesday was that the next day was ANZAC Day, and hence a public holiday. Many of those connected to the wedding went to the "traditional" Aussie Rules footy game at the "G", I had lunch with my first swimming club - Powerpoints. Was a great afternoon, Katherine had done a great job of getting in touch with a bunch of old swimmers (we all swam together about 10 years ago) - it was very strange seeing many of them after 10 years, we have all grown up and are doing the most amazing array of different things: medical research, law, development work, teaching (!), real estate... Was great that it timed so well for my visit (Thanks Kath!).
There were other days like that, catching up with people I hadn't seen for between 6 months and 3 years... always a shame it is so short, but better than nothing. It is strange though, with old friends the time apart seems to disappear in an instant, it can feel like 2 weeks (just that we have managed to fit an extraordinary amount of stuff into those 2 weeks). I notice it most when I meet kids (cousins, or friends') - they change much faster and grow so much. Although I do try very hard to avoid saying, "My, how you've grown!" as I do want to try to still seem young (30 this year!). I managed relatively well to stay relaxed and enjoy it all without getting stressed about the lack of time - not a whole lot of sleep the first week!
The wedding was a fantastic day, everyone looked fantastic (for those in Aus the photos will be in OK! Magazine next week (14th May, I think) - just checked the website and they still have this week's one). A few drops of rain after the ceremony were all we got, until later that evening as we headed from the reception centre to the after-party. Yep, trust swimmers to organise an after-party to their own wedding!! It was great! A very long day, but everyone was happy.
The rest of my days were spent, much like the first few, drinking coffee and catching up with friends - there is never enough time to do everything I want to do - really will have to try to make the next trip a bit longer. Having said that... it will no doubt end up the same.
I've had a week back at school which thankfully coincided with the schools project weeks (twice a year for 2 weeks, December and May). This time I don't have a project, and there are no normal lessons, so I get time to catch up on all my marking and stuff that was covering my desk. I had my big project in December which kept my extremely busy then - so this is my pay-off!
Time to go and do something with the day, now that I have done my knee exercises, updated the blog, folded half the washing... all that domestic stuff... maybe time for a caffè...
latte,
rich.
Sunday, 6 May 2007
home
Home is a fluid concept sometimes... however this most recent journey to Stockholm did feel more like coming home than any other. Now I get to embark on the week of jet lag that I so love, all I want to do is sleep but I have to try to wait until the sun goes down otherwise I'll have the 3am stares. You know, lying in bed, staring at the roof - wondering why your eyelids seem incapable of closing.
So, I had 9 days in Bulgaria - obviously the reason I got into teaching was to jet all over Europe! I was accompanying 6 students from 4 schools who represented Sweden at a Model European Parliament. This involved the kids spending lots of time in committee meetings (each had a different topic), and the teachers went sightseeing! I did check my emails a couple of times and did the proof-reading of the committee resolutions before they were published for the final 2 days spent in the Bulgarian Parliament House. It was a great experience for students and teacher - they learnt lots, but more importantly they got to know others from all over Europe (some better than others, but what happens on the trip stays on the trip!). I got to experience Sofia (Bulgaria's capital) and some of the villages in the region - the stuffed us all in a buses a couple of times and carted us off to some little place that is valiantly trying to overcome Communist induced apathy or neglect and become European. We were introduced to 3 different Mayors - who varied from Mafioso, to business-liberal greenie, to farmer - quite an experience! And shown a cure for insomnia - a DVD about the region we were about to visit... 45 minutes complete with commentary... in Bulgarian, with music from Borat. I had to try very hard not to burst out laughing watching another one of our group try to conceal his sleepy head nods... you know the ones... where you fall asleep, your head drops and you wake up 1 second after you drifted off... I found it very funny at the time!
There were many highlights... the candle-lit bar at the back of a building that used to house the Communist propaganda printing press... the orthodox church in the middle of Sofia... arguments over dodgy taxi fares, until we realised we were arguing over 50 cents... the very cheap beer... the great company of teachers from all over Europe... and me being able to introduce myself as "Richard, from Sweden" and nobody questioning it!
It all went very quickly, especially the last night's sleep which was rudely interrupted by the alarm at 4.45am! Bulgaria, as is probably the case for many ex-communist countries, is somewhere between East and West, in some ways European and in some ways so far away from much or the EU. It will be an amazing journey for the people involved where change can be measured in months and weeks rather than years.
I'm sure this hasn't done it justice, but for now it will have to do... I'm hungry and tired - not a good combination for rich...
jet lagged,
rich.
So, I had 9 days in Bulgaria - obviously the reason I got into teaching was to jet all over Europe! I was accompanying 6 students from 4 schools who represented Sweden at a Model European Parliament. This involved the kids spending lots of time in committee meetings (each had a different topic), and the teachers went sightseeing! I did check my emails a couple of times and did the proof-reading of the committee resolutions before they were published for the final 2 days spent in the Bulgarian Parliament House. It was a great experience for students and teacher - they learnt lots, but more importantly they got to know others from all over Europe (some better than others, but what happens on the trip stays on the trip!). I got to experience Sofia (Bulgaria's capital) and some of the villages in the region - the stuffed us all in a buses a couple of times and carted us off to some little place that is valiantly trying to overcome Communist induced apathy or neglect and become European. We were introduced to 3 different Mayors - who varied from Mafioso, to business-liberal greenie, to farmer - quite an experience! And shown a cure for insomnia - a DVD about the region we were about to visit... 45 minutes complete with commentary... in Bulgarian, with music from Borat. I had to try very hard not to burst out laughing watching another one of our group try to conceal his sleepy head nods... you know the ones... where you fall asleep, your head drops and you wake up 1 second after you drifted off... I found it very funny at the time!
There were many highlights... the candle-lit bar at the back of a building that used to house the Communist propaganda printing press... the orthodox church in the middle of Sofia... arguments over dodgy taxi fares, until we realised we were arguing over 50 cents... the very cheap beer... the great company of teachers from all over Europe... and me being able to introduce myself as "Richard, from Sweden" and nobody questioning it!
It all went very quickly, especially the last night's sleep which was rudely interrupted by the alarm at 4.45am! Bulgaria, as is probably the case for many ex-communist countries, is somewhere between East and West, in some ways European and in some ways so far away from much or the EU. It will be an amazing journey for the people involved where change can be measured in months and weeks rather than years.
I'm sure this hasn't done it justice, but for now it will have to do... I'm hungry and tired - not a good combination for rich...
jet lagged,
rich.
Wednesday, 2 May 2007
away
Has been very quiet here, sorry to the 3 of you waiting expectantly for a long update! A quickie to say that I am alive and coming to the end of 11 days in Melbourne - it has been mad (as were the 9 days in Bulgaria). So many stories (some of which may make it here!) and no time now... you'll just have to wait!
rich.
rich.
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